It was on this day, March 2, way back in 1969 that the most iconic airliner of all time, Concorde, made it's first flight. It is the only aircraft to ever enter regularly scheduled supersonic passenger service, and will likely be the only aircraft to do so. Concorde has it's origins in the late 1950's (!!!) and was under construction as a prototype in the mid 1960's. The SR-71 Blackbird also has it's roots in the 50's and was flying at three and a half times the speed of sound in the early 60's. In July of 1969, NASA landed a man on the moon using a spacecraft that had less computing power than the most basic mobile phones of today, not to mention my iphone.
So why is it that with all our technological advancements we haven't been back to the moon since 1972? Have humans lost all ambition? Sure part of the problem is money. It takes a great deal of cash to get to the moon. But when one looks at all the money governments piss away of utter bullshit, i can't help but think that we as humans would be much farther along in our exploration of space. I mean, who hasn't looked up at the stars and wondered what exactly is out there in the great vastness of space? And if we could get to the moon in 1969, given the rate of advancement of technology, we should be well on our way to developing some means of traveling faster than light and actually exploring whats out there.
But lets go back a step. How is it that in 1969 there was an airliner capable of sustained supersonic flight and today the best we can do is subsonic. Part of it is money again. But there are plenty who are willing to shell out for a flight across the atlantic at more than twice the speed of sound (myself included). But the other part is all the tree huggers and goddamn hippies. "Hey man, you can't fly that thing here, you're ruining my vibe man". All the sniveling whiners complain about the noise. Well, the Concorde didn't go supersonic until it was out over the ocean, so unless your house is in the middle of the Atlantic, shut the fuck up. And fuel consumption/pollution is the other part. Well, unless you don't drive a car and live in the fucking woods without electricity, you're contributing just as much to pollution and energy consumption as anyone, so shut the fuck up.
We have gone from this:
To this:
From a sleek, sexy, fast beauty to a fat, ugly bloated flying goddamn bus. What the fuck?
Such a shame that in this day and age one can't fly supersonic. Now that i have the means to do so, all i can hope is that someday we will find our way once again and we will take a step forward in our advancement instead of a step back.
Yes, this makes two posts in just a few hours. I had meant to put these pics on my previous post detailing my big news, but it took on a life of its own. Anyway, it's cold, windy and raining outside. I like the moody weather the Pacific Northwest offers up for the winter months. But after my trip to Maui last September, i was bit by the tropical paradise bug. Maui is the most beautiful place i have ever been. Heaven on Earth is barely an adequate description. I hope you enjoy this little view of Heaven.
^ The beach in front of our hotel, 50' from my room.
Here we go. I am entering completely foreign territory. I am beginning an exciting yet terrifying phase of my life. Well, i guess it's OUR life now. Yes, E is moving in with me. On Friday last week, he gave notice at his apartment terminating his rental agreement. No going back now.
I'm simultaneously elated and mortified by the prospect of have E move in with me. Obviously, i love him very much or i wouldn't ask him to move in with me. And it should be equally obvious that he loves me very much or he wouldn't have agreed to move in. But for as much as i love him and want to maximize my time spent with him, the pessimist in me keeps injecting doubt into my thought process and making me wonder if this is such a good idea. I am a fairly private person, and something of an introvert. I like my quiet time, going for hikes in the woods and not having anyone around to bother me. People are pests to me. I don't much care for most people. I am antisocial. No offense to any of you, my dear readers. I have people in my life that mean the world to me and without whom things just wouldn't be the same. But lets just say going to a bar and being surrounded by a bunch of drunken idiots that i don't know isn't my idea of fun. I much prefer small gatherings of close knit friends in my own home, or even better, their home. As such, even with people i love dearly, i require a fair amount of personal space sometimes. So how will i adjust to having someone else living in my house with me? How will i adjust to having strangers (E's friends) violating the sanctity of my home? What will i do when i can't come home from a late shift at work and crank my stereo up to 11 and unwind because E is in bed sleeping already?
On the other side of that coin, i am ready to take mine and E's relationship to the next level. I want to start building our life TOGETHER. I want to come home from work and have my loving man there to greet me and give me a kiss. I want to have someone to talk to after a particularly rough day. I want to have someone to keep me warm on cold nights. I want o be able to do all those things for someone as well. So despite my doubts, i still think E moving in is the right decision.
I'm not alone in my trepidation. E has been hurt and betrayed twice before. Once he was left homeless after his crazy boyfriend kicked him out and once he was left with an apartment and bills he couldn't afford on his own after his cheating boyfriend left him all alone. He doesn't want either of those things to happen again. All i can do is assure him i'm not like that, but i'm sure his past boyfriends all said the same thing. And then E's mother (who loves him and cares for him but disapproves of his gay lifestyle "choice") has to interject yet more doubt into his mind. She brings up his forthcoming trip to Rome, and asks what happens if i'm not there for him when he returns, or i decide i don't want him here anymore or if he decides he doesn't want me anymore when he returns? So now he's all freaked out and wondering if he made the right choice by deciding to move in with me where he once was certain he had.
Either way, it's happening. E is moving in with me. I think our mutual uneasiness will prove to be a good thing for us as we will both have greater respect for each others space and boundaries. We have been a couple for almost 14 months. We are nearly an old married couple by gay standards. It hasn't been easy, but we both put in a lot of work in keeping our relationship strong. I think we can do this. I think this is the start of something beautiful.
No, this blog has not been abandoned. I know, it's been nearly three months since my last post. But really, there just hasn't been too much happening. I haven't been inspired to write much either. But, i thought i'd drop in to see if there is still anyone out there who reads this. To be honest, i haven't read a blog in ages. I simply don't have the time these days. I still keep in touch with a few people and think about all the friends i made by blogging often. But everyone grow and moves on it seems.
I want a new car. I love my S5, and my daily driver A4 is a good machine. There are only a few things i want to change about the A4 to make it a car i love. For one, i wish it had all the minor convenience technology goodies such as rain sensing wipers, automatic headlights, auto-dimming mirrors, HID headlights, etc. I also want factory navigation. The little Garmin i have is a piece of shit. Unless one has an actual street address, the thing is fucking useless. The biggest thing i wish my car had is a bigger engine. The 2.0T is strong and has plenty of power, but it sounds cheap. It sounds just like E's little Mazda. Oh well, less than two years left on the lease. I would love an S4, maybe even a BMW 550i Xdrive...
Winter has set in here in the Pacific Northwest. A few weeks ago we were hit with a pretty nasty wind storm. There were sustained wind speeds of 60 mph and gusts to 75 mph in some areas. Getting home was a pain in the ass on that night as there were wide spread power outages and trees and power lines down all over the place. Luckily, i had electricity when i got home from work, which was very surprising. Normally all it takes for my power to go out is for some fat bastard to cut a fart. I've had more power outages in my current home than all the other places i've lived combined, including the tornado prone mid-western United States.
The week of Thanksgiving we were hit with snow. I got about four inches at my house. I hate the fucking snow. Yes it's quite beautiful, but it makes getting around a real fucking headache. It took me an hour and 45 minutes to get home from work, normally al 35 minute trip. It's not my driving ability or my car that are the problem. I learned how to drive in snow and have an all-wheel drive car. I actually find driving in snow sort of fun. But, the vast majority of drivers here can't drive on dry roads, let alone icy, snow covered roads. Far too many people who shouldn't be out on the streets are driving to the mall or the movies on their snow-induced day off from work. I have no choice, i need to go to work. There are no snow days for me. But all the stupid assholes who couldn't make it to work because of the snow seem to be out and about fucking off, getting in my way as i try to get to work. I'm sorry, if the fucking snow prevented you from being productive and going to work, you shouldn't be allowed out of your home unless it's an emergency. If you're able to get to the mall to shop, you should be able to get to work. I'm ready to go back to Maui.
It's not Maui, but i am heading to the Oregon coast in a week and a half for five days. I love the Oregon coast in winter. The cold, crisp sea air, the crashing waves, with howling wind, the moody fog and cloud cover. The place i stay is right on the beach, has a warm gas fireplace and a jetted tub in the room, and a king size bed for cuddling with the boyfriend. I can't wait!
Speaking of the boyfriend, we are talking about him moving in with me finally. I'm both excited and terrified by the prospect. I love him with all my heart, but i've never had a live in boyfriend and am wondering how i will handle having someone here with me 24/7/365. I like to have my space but i also love having him around. Quite the pickle.
E has also been accepted into a foreign study program. This means he will be in Europe for two months and having the time of his life, and i will be left alone. It sucks. I hate the thought of not having him by my side for two solid months. He makes me happy, and on some days he is all i have to get me through. I wonder how i will get by without him to talk to, to hold, to kiss and comfort me. He says "it's only two months, it'll go by fast." Well, sure, for him it will. He will be busy doing things and going wonderful places and seeing all sorts of new things. For me it will be the same old shit, minus the man i love. And i won't be there to kick the asses of all the European boys who will be hitting on him and trying to steal him from me. I trust him 100%, but he is a very sexy guy and i'm sure he will have occasion to be tempted by the fruit of another as it were. And as much as technology will allow us to communicate and see each other visually, it's just not an acceptable substitute for having him here with me. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or some such bullshit.
Well, it's 2:30am and i need to get some sleep. Until next time...
A very long while. So, how is everyone? Doing well i hope. Things are the same as ever here. This won't be much of a post, as i'm fairly tired. Anywho, i finally broke down and bought a new bicycle. Two of them in fact. First is a Trek 2.1 road bike. It's so light and fast! I took two minutes off my best ride time of last year (when i was in much better shape) on my first ride. I'm hoping to ride in the Seattle to Portland next year. The other new bike is a Trek 6000 mountain bike. Took that bad boy out for a trial run up (and down) a trail on Mount Rainier a few weeks ago. Front suspension and hydraulic disc brakes makes for a sweet riding experience. What an awesome bike!
I'm finishing up my last few days of vacation for the year as i write this. I got home from Maui, Hawaii on Tuesday night. Ugh, it sure sucks donkey balls to be home. This was my first trip to Hawaii. In any event, i am in love with the place. It really is Heaven on Earth. It was in the mid 80's everyday, warm and sunny (i've got a tan for the first time in years) and the ocean was like bath water (unlike the year round frigid water of the ocean near me). I want to go back and never leave. At least i got to fly first class. I drank as many little tiny bottles of booze as i could in the five and a half hours i was on the aircraft. And champagne before departure definitely takes the edge off having to go from paradise.
It has been nearly 11 months since i started dating E. Things are still on track, but i think the novelty is wearing off for him. For example, he doesn't like to cuddle on the couch and watch TV or movies. He prefers to have his "own space". And when i tried to hold his hand the other day he asked me "Aren't you past that yet?". I guess i just need more physical contact than he does. I just wish he'd meet me half way more often instead of turning on the ice machine and playing Mr. Cool. I know we all have different needs, but it sometimes seems like i'm more in love with him than he is with me. I almost feel bad for wanting to cuddle and be close to him when he says he wants space (which is more often than not). I feel like i'm imposing on him or smothering him. But, i still have my needs and i like to be close to him (despite the fact i don't like other people to touch me or hug me or be close to me). I feel comforted when we are close. Oh well, time will tell. I guess we haven't come this far for no reason.
i got a sorta-kinda promotion at work. I haven't decided if i am going to accept it yet though because i will lose a little pay due to the fact i won't be getting Sunday pay or night differential anymore. But, it's a perfect stepping stone to getting into management, so i probably will accept the appointment. After all, if i have to endure some office job for a year or so in order to get into a management spot with a very handsome pay raise, i guess it will be worth it.
Well, i'm beat. Time for bed after a strong drink and a listen to some nice relaxing music (i'm thinking Alkan).
Not all of them, mind you. But most. Why do i say this you ask? Well, i'll tell you. Some punk ass bitch on a rice burning crotch rocket was apparently too busy eyeing up the skeezy ho across the street from him to see my highly illuminated (i mean, the fucking thing has two strips of LED running lights, HID headlamps, fog lamps, side markers, LED turn signals in the side mirrors, etc.) car making a legal turn in front of him and decided to impress said skeez ho by gunning his sewing machine with wheels and plowing into the side of my car. The same car i waited four months for after my previous car was totaled last year by another oxygen thieving co-inhabitant of our lovely little planet. And even though i had the right of way, and had signaled my intentions, and was fully stopped in the center turn lane directly in front of the mouth breather who hit me for a good 30 seconds before commencing my turn and saw his dumb ass sitting there the entire time, the lazy, needle-dicked donut eating prick of a cop who finally arrived at the scene to take names and statements didn't issue the moron who hit me a citation for failure to yield! Cops are useless.
Other than that, nothing much new going on. E and i are fighting like cats and dogs lately and i don't know why. I don't like most of his friends, yet i attend functions and parties where the majority of the people there are his friends. So even though i'm only going because he wants to go, he gets pissed at me because i'm not having a good time. He gets pissed at me when he asks why i'm not having a good time and i tell him it's because most of the people i'm surrounded by are burned out druggies/ex-druggies who do nothing but stay at home in their government funded housing and smoke pot and collect their welfare checks and don't actually contribute anything to society. Nothing wrong with smoking pot, but at least have a fucking job and be able to support your habit so i don't have to. And the ones who do have jobs are still a drag on society and don't even come close to contributing to the system anything near what they take from it. I like a couple of his friends just fine. They are fun and kind and caring people. He gets pissed when i'm irritated and stressed out and bitch about having to go to work and pay taxes and deal with the lazy, stupid people that infest our country. Well, excuse me Mr. I-can-smoke-pot-and-am-not-subject-to-random-drug-screenings-and-am-all-mellowed-out. I don't have the luxury of being able to roll a fatty and get stoned to mellow out after a long, hard day. And what do you have to be stressed out about anyway? You work part time for your internship, have everything taken care of for you by me, your grants and the Bank of Mom and Dad and don't have any real expenses or worries. I love you dearly, but you really need a reality check.
Meh, this is turning into a real bitchfest. Guess i'll wrap it up, have a drink and come on back when i have something nice to say.
Hello everybody. It's been a while since i last posted. But honestly, there isn't really too much worth mentioning going on lately. Work is getting increasingly annoying. Since changing crews in March, it's been a constant struggle forcing myself out of bed (even if it is at one in the afternoon). My God, some of the people i work work are far beyond annoying. They are intolerable. I hate going to work. Management on this side of the crew is no better. They micromanage to excess. Ugh... On a better note, i interviewed for the management position i applied for. I think i did fairly well, and sounded confident when being asked all sorts of ridiculous questions. Even better, only five people applied for the position. So, i have a 20 percent chance of getting the job right off the bat. Besides the prospect of promotion, about the only thing i like about work anymore (since all my work friends are on opposite schedules now) is training. I am an instructor at work and really like being able to teach new people how to do the job. Not to sound to conceited, but i am very good at my job. I think thats why i am so unhappy. It's just become incredibly boring. Once in a while, something interesting happens and i have to act fast to keep the situation under control, but most of the time its routine. Oh well, perhaps i'll get the promotion and will have something else to keep me entertained at work for a while.
One thing that really grates on me lately is this bullshit "click it or ticket" seat belt campaign. Yeah, it's been going on for a while in my state, and really isn't anything new. But when i hear the fucking cops whine about not having enough officers to adequately patrol and enforce meaningful laws and protect the citizens of their state, county, municipality, etc. one moment, and i see a TV ad the next telling me how the lazy pigs are stepping up patrols to specifically target people who aren't wearing their seat belts, i get kind of pissed off. I mean seriously, are there not more serious crimes the goddamn fucking cops should be concerned with? I guess there is very little risk in pulling over a soccer mom driving a mini van who isn't wearing her seat belt when compared to hunting down dangerous, armed criminals like murderers and rapists and child molesters. But hey, as long as the pigs are safe and sound passing out tickets for seat belt infractions, and the ticket revenue keeps pouring in to financially irresponsible government agencies who can't seem to make due with the already excessive taxation they impose upon their citizens, what does it matter if actual criminals who pose a risk to someone other to themselves are running around free?
*deep breath*
I've got tickets to see "Fiddler On The Roof" this Friday. That should be a lot of fun, as i've never seen a live theater production before, with the exception of a local production of "Jesus Christ Superstar" a long time ago. I bought the tickets as a surprise for E for our six month anniversary. He had mentioned that he liked this show and when i saw that it was coming to town, i scooped up some great seats. Needless to say, E is very excited.
Speaking of E, we are celebrating seven months together next week. Time sure flies when one is having fun! I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but i really do love him more with each passing day. Sure, we have our arguments about things, but we always make up quickly and move on. We both have our own set of issues that we are working through, and we are patient with each other and willing to stick it out and make things work. I am so eternally grateful for him, it literally renders me speechless sometimes.
E has got me hooked on a TV series called "Mad Men". It's basically a drama about the lives of advertising executives set in the early 1960's. E bought the first season on DVD at a going out of business sale at a local video store and we were both hooked from the first few episodes. I went out and bought seasons two and three and we are half way through season two after only one weekend. What happens next? I can't wait to find out! What really worries me is this...what happens when i run out of DVD's? Eeeek! I'd rather not think about it...
It would appear that April showers only bring May showers. I am ready for sun! I am way out of shape. I took a bike ride for the first time in a few weeks a couple of days ago and i was really slow. I did make it the full 21 miles of my standard route, but it took me 10 minutes longer and i was 4 MPH slower on average. I deffo need to ride more, and i am still in need of a new road bike. I'm thinking the Trek Madone 4.7. I also want to upgrade my mountain bike to something with front suspension, maybe even full suspension. I took E to Mount Rainier last weekend for a 10 mile hike. It was wonderful. I love Mount Rainier. One of my favorite places. Lucky for me, E likes hiking. But, E is used to hiking in more urban settings such as large city parks with unpaved trails. So, this was fun for him even though he was a bit unprepared for the difficulty of the hike. I admit, i'm a bit out of shape too, so this was a good warm up for some epic hikes this summer.
Well, i've taken up enough of your valuable time with my long winded, half-psychotic ramblings. Hope everything is fine and well for all of you out there! See you again soon.
I'm in my early 30's, gay, and am finally out of the closet. I feel extremely frustrated by the fact I've waited so long to come out. So much of my life has been wasted in loneliness and living a lie. Now that i'm out, i'm able to be myself and i no longer have to conceal who I really am. But now i can see that coming out was the easy part. I have finally met the man of my dreams and am happier than i have been in a long time. Despite this, letting go of the past and moving on is going to be far more difficult than i had ever imagined.
