Sunday, November 22, 2009

You're always fucking staring at me with that glass fucking eye!

If anyone had told me even a month ago that i would meet an amazing man who i am 99.9% compatible with and who likes me as much as i like him, i would have called them a fucking liar. But much to my astonishment, this is exactly what happened. I have met a man who compliments me, who fills that lonely void in my soul, who understands and accepts me for who i am and not what i look like. So far, we have exchanged countless emails, text messages and phone calls. We have also had 8 dates over the past couple weeks. He has even spent the night at my house once. To say that we like each other is an understatement. The feelings we have grow stronger each day. Looking back from where i am now, i can see that while i may have felt attracted to guys in the past, and maybe even felt some emotional connection to them, they were all lacking something fundamental and indescribable. The "emotions" i felt toward them were empty. With "E" there is something more there than just a pretty face (and he is deffo cute). With him, we are connected on a level that is deep and real. All the cards are on the table. There are no secrets, nothing to hide.

It's official. I have a boyfriend. We are still trying our best to take things easy and not rush into anything (like sex for example). But, we are exclusive. It's pretty exciting. I love being with him, and he loves being with me. We spend all of our free time together it seems and i am longing to be with him when he isn't around. We really seem to be falling for each other.

Well, enough of my blather. I am taking an overnight road trip with "E" on Tuesday into Wednesday, so i probably won't be online much before the Thanksgiving holiday. Here's wishing all of you happy holidays!

Hope you enjoy the video.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Start Of Something Beautiful

Oh, hello. Long time no talk. Sorry for not posting in a while. I've been pretty busy and a lot has happened since my last post. Almost all of it good. Quite good. So good in fact, that i am still waiting to wake up from what can only be a dream.

So, last time i posted was a little more than two weeks ago. At that time, i had been out on two dates with "A" and had got the lets be friends bit from him. I was pretty disappointed, but after a couple days of moping around, i kind of snapped out of it. He is young, 19 to be exact. While he does display an incredible amount of maturity for someone his age (hell, an incredible amount of maturity for people twice his age), he is still young. It took a lot of talking with a few of you guys (you know who you are, and i am in your debt for your friendship and support) on MSN to finally convince me of this. He is young and stupid was what i was told. Indeed he is. Despite being fairly mature, he still has no idea what he wants from life. My feelings for him are just the result of being starved of attention for so long and him giving me some much needed attention. Well, once i realized that i was able to move on and do just what he his friend. We have gotten together a couple more times since then. Once for just dinner and once we actually took a road trip together. It was fun. After accepting being "just friends" all the outer awkwardness disappeared. In the end, all i experienced with him was for the best and was a valuable learning experience.

About the same time as when i got the lets be friends text from "A", i had began talking to another guy i met online, call him "E". I had sent "E" a message on one of the dating sites i have an account with back in late September and had never heard back from him. Out of the blue i get a message back from him and he is very apologetic for taking so long in responding to my message, as he doesn't check his account very often because he doesn't get very many messages and the ones he does get are from creepos. Wow, sounds kind of like me. So, he includes his actual email address and chat id so we can communicate easier. From his very first email to me, i knew he was something special. Just the overall tone of his email made me feel something was singularly unique about him.

Short story long, we began a series of rather lengthy emails back and forth. He was kind enough to include some info about himself in his first email as an ice breaker/convo starter. It worked rather well. I asked him some new questions about things he likes, what beliefs he holds, what music he likes, etc. With each new email, we asked each other new questions and answered our own questions from the previous email. It was a rather fun and interesting way to get the basic "get to know you" stuff out of the way. By the time we actually spoke on MSN, we had a pretty good idea about what made the other tick. After a couple weeks of exchanging emails and chatting on MSN, we exchanged phone numbers and began a textathon and finally arranged to meet.

Our first date was last Tuesday and it went splendidly. I picked him up at his place and we went to dinner at a very nice Asian place in Tacoma not far from his apartment. We talked with each other so easily, it was as if we were old pals getting together after a long time apart. It was a lot of fun. After dinner, we went back to his place to drop the leftovers off in his fridge so they wouldn't rot in the car the rest of the night. After about 45 mins of chit chat, i asked what he wanted to do next. I had made reservations for a concert (free show, but limited seating), but by the time we were ready to go, it was too late to catch the beginning of the show in Seattle. So, he said anything sounds like fun, that he's really easy going just like me. I asked if he has ever been to the Space Needle and he said no. Well, how about we go there? Sure he says.

Its about an hour drive to Seattle from his place and we have a nice drive up. It is raining and foggy on the drive up, and i was commenting on how crap the view will be if its foggy. As we approach Seattle, the fog lifts a bit and we can see the city skyline in the distance. We find parking and walk through the cold rain to the Space Needle huddled up beneath a couple of too small umbrellas. It was pretty intimate and we kind of cuddled up for warmth as we walked. We buy our tickets and head up. The view is incredible at night. We hold hands a bit and walk around, get a coffee, take some pictures, enjoy each others company and the spectacular view. After about 2 and a half hours, we decide to head out and hit the gift shop on the way out. I bought a Space Needle Lego kit (Legos FTW!!!), and bought him a cute little Space Needle pen he really liked. On our way out, i got a bit turned around trying to find the freeway and somehow wound up in the U-district. Hmmm...there is a great drive-in near there and i as if he like the place. He loves it, and so it's decide we stop for burgers and shakes. That done, and it's now 11:15pm (i picked him up at 5pm). "So, what next?" i ask. He says whatever is fine, so i suggest we go to my place and watch a movie. Ok he says.

So, off to my house we go and we arrive at about midnight. We plug in a movie and cuddle up on the couch. After the movie, the cuddle session turned to a make-out session. :D Yeah, fun times! I finally drive him home at about 5:30am, and he says he wants to meet again that night. Sounds good to me!

Ok, time to cut to the chase as i'm realllllllly tired right now. We met up that night, and had a great time again. We met again on Saturday, and i cooked dinner for him and again we had a great time. We went out again last night and wound up at my place once again. And again, i didn't take him home until really really late (early?). I am just amazed! He is really into me and i'm really into him. We are both deeply in "like" with each other haha. Both of us want the same thing...a lasting, long term relationship. Neither of us want to rush into sex just wind up fuck buddies. We both want to go a little slow and really get to know each other first. He is a bit older than the last guy, but still younger than me (he's 27). He is different. We just mesh so well. He feels the same way. It's amazing how well we get along. No awkward moments with him. Everything just feels "right". We are so compatible it's almost scary. It's like we were made for one another and have been destined to meet all along. This guy is special, he is different. This isn't some silly crush. I have been happier the three weeks i have known him than i have been in a long time, maybe ever. We compliment each other and i know he feels the same way about me because he has said so directly. This time, the feeling IS mutual. I am very optimistic about this. It has an entirely different feel to this situation than all the ones before. This feels real. This feels like it may be the start of something beautiful.

^ a slightly blurry view of the Seattle skyline from the Space Needle