After much stress and aggravation, i finally got a check in the mail from my insurance company as settlement for my car. I made out pretty good all in all. They paid me almost all of what i paid for my car (the settlement was about $415 light), plus sales tax and licensing fees. Not too shabby. The only problem is that a replacement is going to cost me about $3000 more than my car did. Fuck it, it's only money.
Last tuesday, i met Mikey for lunch (well, he ate before we met, so i made a pig of myself while he watched...lol) and then we went car shopping. We took a test drive in the new Audi S4. It has a brand new 7 speed dual clutch S-tronic transmission with paddle shifters. What a blast that thing is to drive! Instant up and down shifts, power to spare, classy machine. The voice control system could use a little work though...lol. I think Mikey is turning into an Audi-phile like me lol. What can i say, he's got class. :P And we looked really awesome driving around in my other car, a semi-ghetto 1999 Pontiac Trans Am. Don't get me wrong, it's a fun car to drive (goes really fast in a straight line), but it looks very dated. And the windshield is cracked. The only thing we were missing were mullets. lol.
I got the pleasure of inspecting an Audi R8 up close and personal. What a sexy machine! That is what a car should be! On saturday, i had to drive up to Seattle to drop off my deposit check for my new car (more on that in a sec), and the dealer had a "used" R8. I got to sit in this one, start it and revel in the beautiful noises the 4.2 litre V8 made as i revved is a few times. I think i'm in love. I wonder if i could sell some internal organs on the black market to finance the purchase of one of those...
Anywho, i ordered a replacement vehicle for my wrecked S5. What did i order? Yep, another Audi S5. It's slightly different from my old S5. I orderd it in Phantom Black Pearl (the old one was brilliant black) and stainless steel interior trim (old was carbon fiber). Just different enough to be interesting and new again, yet comfortable and familiar. Much to my surprise, the 2010 model year brought some much welcomed improvements in the electronics and navigation systems (my old car was an '09). The nav system is now hard drive based as opposed to DVD-ROM. So, access to info stored on the drive is much quicker than it was on the previous system. It also allowed huge improvements to the mapping on the nav screen. It's now displayed in 3D with terrain and a "flying" view rather than just and overhead plan view. The in dash disc player is a single disc drive instead of the 6 disc changer on the old car, but now plays DVD's on the nav screen when parked. The new car also has built in memory card readers in the dash to allow music to be played and transferred to the cars internal hard drive for music anytime! This is on top of the iPod connection and full control of the device via the new MMI (multi media interface) controller. Instead of just having a rotary knob for making selections on menus, it has a little joy stick built in to the center of the knob now as well. Vastly improved functionality. The last improvement comes in the form of a sport differential as part of the Drive Select option. It's an electronically controlled differential that can be set up to allow more aggressive handling through the twisties. I can't wait to toss this car around a bit...lol. I should almost thank that stupid bitch for running into me! Not really though, as it's still costing me moneys. So, in 3 or 4 months i'll be the proud new papa of an S5.
I think i might be mildly retarded. I have had my new MacBook Pro for almost a month now, and i'm still not used to it's operating system. I guess that windows brainwashing is hard to get rid of. I still love the Mac though! What a beautiful piece of engineering it is. I don't regret spending the money on it. I just need to pull my head out of my ass and figure out how to take advantage of all it's potential.
Are you still reading? Wow! I'm impressed! I mean, i'm bored ffs, and i'm the one typing this fucking blather!
Nothing has changed otherwise. I still haven't met anyone, or heard back from a certain someone. I have spent quite a few hours online reading profiles and composing thoughtful emails to guys i'm interested in on a couple of different dating sites and networking sites, and have had no responses. So, what is wrong with me? I mean, i work with a guy who is both fat and ugly (sorry, but its true) and he met a girl on the same dating site i'm using. This chick could be a model ffs! Not only is she good looking, but she's smart too!! He's got the personality of my toe nail clippings, has got to be close to 375 pounds and has a face only a mother could love and he's hooking hotties online. What the fuck am i doing wrong? Where is my smart cutie?
I have been out of control spending money lately. I have spent more money on clothes in the last six months than i probably have i all of my life previously lol. And music...omg. I placed a $425 order from amazon last week. CD's are piling up everywhere, and the rare vinyl (yep, i still buy vinyl records lol) is stacking up too. Oh, yet another new pair of sunnies...really smexy Ray-Ban aviators. If i had a boyfriend, this money would be spent spoiling him lol.
It's been a month since i've had a drop of alcohol. A close friend at work came to the realization he has a problem with drinking. So, his goal was to dry out for a month and see how things go. I offered to quit drinking for a month right along with him as moral support or whatever. Drinking isn't good for me anyway, and it was difficult at first, but i don't really miss it. I do need it as a social lubricant though lol. It tends to mellow me out and loosen me up a bit. Maybe a little now and then wouldn't hurt. :P
THANK YOU JESUS!!! The rain has returned! I am something of a weirdo...i'm quite insane actually. I like cool, cloudy, rainy weather. well, its cool cloudy and rainy outside right now. Classic Seattle weather. I love it! The warm and sunshine we have had here all summer long was wearing a bit thin with me... I guess i'm a true blue Washingtonian. :P
There you have it boys (and girls?). Yet another long, boring post that no one will read! If you have made it all the way to the end, you win a prize of my choosing! What could it be... Lets end this with a song... Dredg are a band i discovered by pure accident a couple of years ago. This song is from their album "El Cielo". This band is amazing. Stellar musicianship, interesting songwriting and crisp production. Each listen reveals something new. I hope you enjoy it!
Showing posts with label dredg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dredg. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Out of control.
First off, huge apologies to everyone. I have been pretty busy as of late, and haven't been keeping up with the blogs as much as i should. I try to read them when i can, but haven't been commenting lately... So, i hope i haven't pissed anyone off.
Anyway, shit has spiraled out of control over here in my little corner of the world. I received a text from Adam last friday telling me that he had just received a text from another co-worker asking him if he knew i was gay. What the fuck?! Someone outed me! So, back up one more step to last Thursday when i came out to another of my co-workers (another lesbian). She and some of the (straight) guys i work with are friends. Apparently, she got a little loose lipped after drinking too much and started blabbing about me to everyone who was present. I still don't have a full picture of how out of control things are, but it is definitely no longer contained and in my hands. So, as a damage control measure, i came out to some more of the people i am closest to at work so they could hear it from me and not the rumor mill. At least half a dozen others are asking questions and so on. Jesus...it's like i'm in fucking junior high again with all the whispering and rumors.
Fuck. So much for doing this my way and in my own time. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but fuck... The upside is that of those i have told personally, most were a bit shocked but otherwise very accepting and supportive. So, if i wasn't before, i reckon i am officially out. At this point, i really don't give a shit who knows or not. I do have mixed emotions about the talk behind my back. On the one hand, i can see that maybe they are just respecting my privacy (or more than likely wanting to save their asses from some discrimination action). But really, if they want to know, why beat around the bush? Just fucking ask me.
In other news, i bought a bunch of new clothes while i was on holiday. Picked up a bunch of shirts and pants from Express (using my brothers employee discount...saved heaps of moneys). I gotta say, i look pretty fuckin sharp. lol. Had some blonde highlights put in my hair, so that's looking even gayer than before as well. :p Overall, i have lost about 60 pounds since i started my weight loss crusade. If i could lose another 50 or 60 pounds, i'd be on target.
I went to Milwaukee's pride fest with my brother while i was on hols. Quite a bit of fun, and eye candy galore! But, it did nothing to convince me that i'm not too old for this shit. Most of the guys i saw were in their early to mid twenties. OK, i admit those are the guys i am most attracted to. But something tells me that they aren't as into me as i am them. I feel way too old to be trying to play catch up and have some fun and eventually get into a stable, long term relationship. Oh yeah, i turned 33 last week. I'm now in my mid 30's. Yeah, i'm deffo the old man trying to play a young mans game.
I'm still having no luck trying to talk to CPB. Every time i go in, he is either not there or is busy doing some other work and i don't get seated at his table. I've now asked for his section twice, and have twice been told he isn't serving or whatever. So, i think i may have crossed into creepy stalker territory. lol. In any event, i'm getting well frustrated with the whole situation. Either fate is conspiring against me or it's saving me from some mass humiliation. So, two different outlooks on that whole thing. One, persistence pays off. Keep going in and eventually the odds will fall to my favor and i will get to talk to him, and maybe even get a date (leading to a relationship if i'm a really good boy). Two, i am obsessed with him and should just forget about him and move on. If it were meant to happen, it would have...nothing should take that much effort. The problem with that is, move on where? I still have no leads or connections or prospects for meeting new people. And you can see how well trying to meet people in normal everyday circumstances is working out. lol. I know, i've done a lot in the past few months and shouldn't rush things. But time is running out, folks. I ain't getting any younger or prettier.
So, thanks to everyone for your thoughts, comments and emails. It really means a lot to me. I owe each and every one of you my gratitude. I don't think i'd be where i am if not for your help, advice, support, and friendship. You have witnessed something extraordinary...my transformation from a boring, single, lonely and closeted gay man to a boring, single, lonely and OUT gay man. LOL! WTF...
BTW...the new Dredg album "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is absolutely fucking brilliant. I have been alternating between listening to that and Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise, Vol. 7: Asia", also fucking brilliant. Yeah, my neighbors hate me coz i've been playing that stuff at top volume at like 3 am... But fuck them anyway... Bwahahahaha!!!!!
Anyway, shit has spiraled out of control over here in my little corner of the world. I received a text from Adam last friday telling me that he had just received a text from another co-worker asking him if he knew i was gay. What the fuck?! Someone outed me! So, back up one more step to last Thursday when i came out to another of my co-workers (another lesbian). She and some of the (straight) guys i work with are friends. Apparently, she got a little loose lipped after drinking too much and started blabbing about me to everyone who was present. I still don't have a full picture of how out of control things are, but it is definitely no longer contained and in my hands. So, as a damage control measure, i came out to some more of the people i am closest to at work so they could hear it from me and not the rumor mill. At least half a dozen others are asking questions and so on. Jesus...it's like i'm in fucking junior high again with all the whispering and rumors.
Fuck. So much for doing this my way and in my own time. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but fuck... The upside is that of those i have told personally, most were a bit shocked but otherwise very accepting and supportive. So, if i wasn't before, i reckon i am officially out. At this point, i really don't give a shit who knows or not. I do have mixed emotions about the talk behind my back. On the one hand, i can see that maybe they are just respecting my privacy (or more than likely wanting to save their asses from some discrimination action). But really, if they want to know, why beat around the bush? Just fucking ask me.
In other news, i bought a bunch of new clothes while i was on holiday. Picked up a bunch of shirts and pants from Express (using my brothers employee discount...saved heaps of moneys). I gotta say, i look pretty fuckin sharp. lol. Had some blonde highlights put in my hair, so that's looking even gayer than before as well. :p Overall, i have lost about 60 pounds since i started my weight loss crusade. If i could lose another 50 or 60 pounds, i'd be on target.
I went to Milwaukee's pride fest with my brother while i was on hols. Quite a bit of fun, and eye candy galore! But, it did nothing to convince me that i'm not too old for this shit. Most of the guys i saw were in their early to mid twenties. OK, i admit those are the guys i am most attracted to. But something tells me that they aren't as into me as i am them. I feel way too old to be trying to play catch up and have some fun and eventually get into a stable, long term relationship. Oh yeah, i turned 33 last week. I'm now in my mid 30's. Yeah, i'm deffo the old man trying to play a young mans game.
I'm still having no luck trying to talk to CPB. Every time i go in, he is either not there or is busy doing some other work and i don't get seated at his table. I've now asked for his section twice, and have twice been told he isn't serving or whatever. So, i think i may have crossed into creepy stalker territory. lol. In any event, i'm getting well frustrated with the whole situation. Either fate is conspiring against me or it's saving me from some mass humiliation. So, two different outlooks on that whole thing. One, persistence pays off. Keep going in and eventually the odds will fall to my favor and i will get to talk to him, and maybe even get a date (leading to a relationship if i'm a really good boy). Two, i am obsessed with him and should just forget about him and move on. If it were meant to happen, it would have...nothing should take that much effort. The problem with that is, move on where? I still have no leads or connections or prospects for meeting new people. And you can see how well trying to meet people in normal everyday circumstances is working out. lol. I know, i've done a lot in the past few months and shouldn't rush things. But time is running out, folks. I ain't getting any younger or prettier.
So, thanks to everyone for your thoughts, comments and emails. It really means a lot to me. I owe each and every one of you my gratitude. I don't think i'd be where i am if not for your help, advice, support, and friendship. You have witnessed something extraordinary...my transformation from a boring, single, lonely and closeted gay man to a boring, single, lonely and OUT gay man. LOL! WTF...
BTW...the new Dredg album "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is absolutely fucking brilliant. I have been alternating between listening to that and Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise, Vol. 7: Asia", also fucking brilliant. Yeah, my neighbors hate me coz i've been playing that stuff at top volume at like 3 am... But fuck them anyway... Bwahahahaha!!!!!
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