Hello everybody. It's been a while since i last posted. But honestly, there isn't really too much worth mentioning going on lately. Work is getting increasingly annoying. Since changing crews in March, it's been a constant struggle forcing myself out of bed (even if it is at one in the afternoon). My God, some of the people i work work are far beyond annoying. They are intolerable. I hate going to work. Management on this side of the crew is no better. They micromanage to excess. Ugh... On a better note, i interviewed for the management position i applied for. I think i did fairly well, and sounded confident when being asked all sorts of ridiculous questions. Even better, only five people applied for the position. So, i have a 20 percent chance of getting the job right off the bat. Besides the prospect of promotion, about the only thing i like about work anymore (since all my work friends are on opposite schedules now) is training. I am an instructor at work and really like being able to teach new people how to do the job. Not to sound to conceited, but i am very good at my job. I think thats why i am so unhappy. It's just become incredibly boring. Once in a while, something interesting happens and i have to act fast to keep the situation under control, but most of the time its routine. Oh well, perhaps i'll get the promotion and will have something else to keep me entertained at work for a while.
One thing that really grates on me lately is this bullshit "click it or ticket" seat belt campaign. Yeah, it's been going on for a while in my state, and really isn't anything new. But when i hear the fucking cops whine about not having enough officers to adequately patrol and enforce meaningful laws and protect the citizens of their state, county, municipality, etc. one moment, and i see a TV ad the next telling me how the lazy pigs are stepping up patrols to specifically target people who aren't wearing their seat belts, i get kind of pissed off. I mean seriously, are there not more serious crimes the goddamn fucking cops should be concerned with? I guess there is very little risk in pulling over a soccer mom driving a mini van who isn't wearing her seat belt when compared to hunting down dangerous, armed criminals like murderers and rapists and child molesters. But hey, as long as the pigs are safe and sound passing out tickets for seat belt infractions, and the ticket revenue keeps pouring in to financially irresponsible government agencies who can't seem to make due with the already excessive taxation they impose upon their citizens, what does it matter if actual criminals who pose a risk to someone other to themselves are running around free?
*deep breath*
I've got tickets to see "Fiddler On The Roof" this Friday. That should be a lot of fun, as i've never seen a live theater production before, with the exception of a local production of "Jesus Christ Superstar" a long time ago. I bought the tickets as a surprise for E for our six month anniversary. He had mentioned that he liked this show and when i saw that it was coming to town, i scooped up some great seats. Needless to say, E is very excited.
Speaking of E, we are celebrating seven months together next week. Time sure flies when one is having fun! I know it sounds cheesy and cliche, but i really do love him more with each passing day. Sure, we have our arguments about things, but we always make up quickly and move on. We both have our own set of issues that we are working through, and we are patient with each other and willing to stick it out and make things work. I am so eternally grateful for him, it literally renders me speechless sometimes.
E has got me hooked on a TV series called "Mad Men". It's basically a drama about the lives of advertising executives set in the early 1960's. E bought the first season on DVD at a going out of business sale at a local video store and we were both hooked from the first few episodes. I went out and bought seasons two and three and we are half way through season two after only one weekend. What happens next? I can't wait to find out! What really worries me is this...what happens when i run out of DVD's? Eeeek! I'd rather not think about it...
It would appear that April showers only bring May showers. I am ready for sun! I am way out of shape. I took a bike ride for the first time in a few weeks a couple of days ago and i was really slow. I did make it the full 21 miles of my standard route, but it took me 10 minutes longer and i was 4 MPH slower on average. I deffo need to ride more, and i am still in need of a new road bike. I'm thinking the Trek Madone 4.7. I also want to upgrade my mountain bike to something with front suspension, maybe even full suspension. I took E to Mount Rainier last weekend for a 10 mile hike. It was wonderful. I love Mount Rainier. One of my favorite places. Lucky for me, E likes hiking. But, E is used to hiking in more urban settings such as large city parks with unpaved trails. So, this was fun for him even though he was a bit unprepared for the difficulty of the hike. I admit, i'm a bit out of shape too, so this was a good warm up for some epic hikes this summer.
Well, i've taken up enough of your valuable time with my long winded, half-psychotic ramblings. Hope everything is fine and well for all of you out there! See you again soon.
Oh yeah, how fucking cool is this gonna be?!?!?!
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Hellooooooooo....
What a week. I have been so swamped with work and other obligations that i have not had much time to even let my brain rest. As i write this, i have a splitting headache. It feels as though there is a black hole at the center of my head trying to consume my very being. Everything is starting to bloom and bud in my part of the world, so seasonal allergies are driving me fucking bonkers at the moment as well.
At any rate, i am in a state of upheaval right now. As many of you who i have talked to on MSN know, my work schedule has been rather hectic. I was working days, evenings and overnight shifts all within the cozy confines of a single work week. Week, after week, after week. Three years worth of weeks in fact. And my days off (Tuesday and Wednesday) sucked. At least i thought they did. Now i'm not so sure. So, after 3 years of shit hours and days off, i finally have enough seniority to get "normal" days off. For the first time in my career, i have weekends off. Normal, Saturday and Sunday weekends. Now, the only reason i bid that schedule is to spend more time with "E". I find the obscene amount of small minded and otherwise mentally challenged people who roam the streets free on the weekend to be very annoying and tedious. Having to battle crowds at Costco or the mall or even the goddamn woods to go for a hike for fuck sake drives me bat shit crazy. But, E is a full time student and is in class and studying and writing papers during the week. And while he was staying over at my house four nights a week, we never really got to go out or even spend more than an hour or two watching a movie or tv together. And when he had days off (Sat. and Sun.), i was at work. It sucked. I went to work Sundays with less than an hour of sleep for more than four months. In my line of work, being alert and having a functioning brain is a good thing. Needless to say, my performance was less than stellar on Sundays, as i rarely got more than a few hours of sleep the preceding nights. But no one died, so it's all good. So, when i had the opportunity to bid weekends off, i took it.
Now, there is a catch. I work all evenings, usually from 3pm until 11pm. Not too bad, because i am NOT a morning person (in fact, i find people who are chipper and cheerful in the early am hours to be highly offensive individuals). So, being able to sleep in all week long is great. But, i can't spend any time with E during the week. So, we now have Friday nights from the time i get off until sunday morning together. This means we can go out and do normal things on Saturday like a normal couple and even go out Friday night if we so choose. But, since he has a fairly old fashioned family and has Sunday dinner with them, that leaves me high and dry most of Sunday (they don't approve of his "choice" of lifestyle, and aren't too crazy about the idea of me, or any other man for that matter, being with their son). So that leaves me squarely out of the family picture.
So now instead of having E four nights a week and spending a little time together, i only have him two nights a week. I do have him all day saturday, but the weekend is sort of fucked because of his family obligations on sunday. In short, i was perfectly happy with my shitty hours and shitty days off. I took days off i'm not entirely thrilled with in order to be able to spend more time with the man i love. Now it would seem that my plan is backfiring on me. Not only do i see him two fewer nights a week, but i have to go 5 whole days without seeing him. It sucks. I miss him.
OK, i guess i shouldn't whine too much because i DO have him. I love him, and he loves me. But being without him from Sunday afternoon thru Friday night is shitty. I have work to distract me, but work is a pain in my ass and the only reason i continue going is because it pays so well. I find myself just wanting to cuddle up with him and be close to him after a long day of work. But all i have is an empty house to come home to. Well, it's not completely empty. There is plenty of wine, scotch, rum, vodka and mixers. Drinking (heavily) is a fairly expensive hobby. All of my hobbies are rather expensive come to think of it. Flying airplanes, cars, guitars, photography...
But i digress. My point is i fucked up. I should have kept my fucked up schedule. This would have been better come summer when he is out of school, as we would have had almost 3 whole days together during the week. Now all i have is one lousy day. Ugh. Seriously, UGH!!! I really do believe i was meant to be royalty or some trust fund baby who never has to work or lift a finger. I'm not cut out for work. It interferes with life and actually living way too much. I want to quit my job, move someplace tropical with my man, tend bar and smoke pot (if it weren't for random drug tests and the risk of losing my job, i would be smoking pot now and i wouldn't be so fucking stressed out all the time). No stress, no worries, no bullshit. Modern life is way to fucking complicated and messy.
On a brighter note, i have next week off and will be on vacation with E for most of it. We are hitting the Oregon Coast for some rest, relaxation, and hiking! I can't wait. My fucking head might explode if i don't get the fuck out of town for a while. We went to the coast just before Christmas last year and loved it so much that we are going back again for almost a whole week instead of just a couple of days. While i have felt very strongly for him and have had the seeds of love sown from the very beginning of our relationship, it was in Cannon Beach that i really fell 100% head over heels in love with E. I can't wait to go back. If you're good boys and girls, maybe i'll post a few pics from the trip here.
I have a brand new Nikon Nikkor VR II 18-200mm lens to try out on my Nikon D90 on this trip. It was such a pain in the ass having to switch lenses last time (my old lenses were 18-55mm and 55-200mm). Now those two lenses are in one lens with overall better optics, better vibration reduction, and i have finally bought some quality filters (had cheapo filter on my old lenses since i have been planning on replacing them with the new 18-200 for a while). I am quite the shutter bug, although i am still a fairly shitty photographer. I do love taking pictures though.
I am happy to see some sunshine and warmer temperatures recently. It means i can take my S5 out of the garage and drive it finally. I havn't had it out in the rain yet, and don't plan on it. I guess it's kind of a toy for me as opposed to being just a mode of transportation, although it certainly is that as well. But, i had it out today for the commute to work and made great time as i was doing 120 mph on the freeway interchange ramp. I was taking it a bit easy, as the break-in period isn't yet over. Legal? No. Fun? Hell yeah!
I'll close this post with a song. I haven't done one of these in a while. The video isn't the greatest, but the song is amazing. This is a track from The Mars Volta's "De-loused in the Comatorium" album. If you've never heard of The Mars Volta, well, you should give them a listen. They are fucking brilliant! Omar Rodriguez-Lopez (the mastermind of The Mars Volta) is one of those rare musical geniuses who creates music that is so full of intelligence and depth that it's beyond the taste of the lazy listeners of today. Do yourself a favor and spend five minutes listening to this song and expand your musical horizons. If you already know and love The Mars Volta, god for you! You win absolutely nothing at all!!! If, however, you don't enjoy this song, please check your pulse as you may in fact be dead.
At any rate, i am in a state of upheaval right now. As many of you who i have talked to on MSN know, my work schedule has been rather hectic. I was working days, evenings and overnight shifts all within the cozy confines of a single work week. Week, after week, after week. Three years worth of weeks in fact. And my days off (Tuesday and Wednesday) sucked. At least i thought they did. Now i'm not so sure. So, after 3 years of shit hours and days off, i finally have enough seniority to get "normal" days off. For the first time in my career, i have weekends off. Normal, Saturday and Sunday weekends. Now, the only reason i bid that schedule is to spend more time with "E". I find the obscene amount of small minded and otherwise mentally challenged people who roam the streets free on the weekend to be very annoying and tedious. Having to battle crowds at Costco or the mall or even the goddamn woods to go for a hike for fuck sake drives me bat shit crazy. But, E is a full time student and is in class and studying and writing papers during the week. And while he was staying over at my house four nights a week, we never really got to go out or even spend more than an hour or two watching a movie or tv together. And when he had days off (Sat. and Sun.), i was at work. It sucked. I went to work Sundays with less than an hour of sleep for more than four months. In my line of work, being alert and having a functioning brain is a good thing. Needless to say, my performance was less than stellar on Sundays, as i rarely got more than a few hours of sleep the preceding nights. But no one died, so it's all good. So, when i had the opportunity to bid weekends off, i took it.
Now, there is a catch. I work all evenings, usually from 3pm until 11pm. Not too bad, because i am NOT a morning person (in fact, i find people who are chipper and cheerful in the early am hours to be highly offensive individuals). So, being able to sleep in all week long is great. But, i can't spend any time with E during the week. So, we now have Friday nights from the time i get off until sunday morning together. This means we can go out and do normal things on Saturday like a normal couple and even go out Friday night if we so choose. But, since he has a fairly old fashioned family and has Sunday dinner with them, that leaves me high and dry most of Sunday (they don't approve of his "choice" of lifestyle, and aren't too crazy about the idea of me, or any other man for that matter, being with their son). So that leaves me squarely out of the family picture.
So now instead of having E four nights a week and spending a little time together, i only have him two nights a week. I do have him all day saturday, but the weekend is sort of fucked because of his family obligations on sunday. In short, i was perfectly happy with my shitty hours and shitty days off. I took days off i'm not entirely thrilled with in order to be able to spend more time with the man i love. Now it would seem that my plan is backfiring on me. Not only do i see him two fewer nights a week, but i have to go 5 whole days without seeing him. It sucks. I miss him.
OK, i guess i shouldn't whine too much because i DO have him. I love him, and he loves me. But being without him from Sunday afternoon thru Friday night is shitty. I have work to distract me, but work is a pain in my ass and the only reason i continue going is because it pays so well. I find myself just wanting to cuddle up with him and be close to him after a long day of work. But all i have is an empty house to come home to. Well, it's not completely empty. There is plenty of wine, scotch, rum, vodka and mixers. Drinking (heavily) is a fairly expensive hobby. All of my hobbies are rather expensive come to think of it. Flying airplanes, cars, guitars, photography...
But i digress. My point is i fucked up. I should have kept my fucked up schedule. This would have been better come summer when he is out of school, as we would have had almost 3 whole days together during the week. Now all i have is one lousy day. Ugh. Seriously, UGH!!! I really do believe i was meant to be royalty or some trust fund baby who never has to work or lift a finger. I'm not cut out for work. It interferes with life and actually living way too much. I want to quit my job, move someplace tropical with my man, tend bar and smoke pot (if it weren't for random drug tests and the risk of losing my job, i would be smoking pot now and i wouldn't be so fucking stressed out all the time). No stress, no worries, no bullshit. Modern life is way to fucking complicated and messy.
On a brighter note, i have next week off and will be on vacation with E for most of it. We are hitting the Oregon Coast for some rest, relaxation, and hiking! I can't wait. My fucking head might explode if i don't get the fuck out of town for a while. We went to the coast just before Christmas last year and loved it so much that we are going back again for almost a whole week instead of just a couple of days. While i have felt very strongly for him and have had the seeds of love sown from the very beginning of our relationship, it was in Cannon Beach that i really fell 100% head over heels in love with E. I can't wait to go back. If you're good boys and girls, maybe i'll post a few pics from the trip here.
I have a brand new Nikon Nikkor VR II 18-200mm lens to try out on my Nikon D90 on this trip. It was such a pain in the ass having to switch lenses last time (my old lenses were 18-55mm and 55-200mm). Now those two lenses are in one lens with overall better optics, better vibration reduction, and i have finally bought some quality filters (had cheapo filter on my old lenses since i have been planning on replacing them with the new 18-200 for a while). I am quite the shutter bug, although i am still a fairly shitty photographer. I do love taking pictures though.
I am happy to see some sunshine and warmer temperatures recently. It means i can take my S5 out of the garage and drive it finally. I havn't had it out in the rain yet, and don't plan on it. I guess it's kind of a toy for me as opposed to being just a mode of transportation, although it certainly is that as well. But, i had it out today for the commute to work and made great time as i was doing 120 mph on the freeway interchange ramp. I was taking it a bit easy, as the break-in period isn't yet over. Legal? No. Fun? Hell yeah!
I'll close this post with a song. I haven't done one of these in a while. The video isn't the greatest, but the song is amazing. This is a track from The Mars Volta's "De-loused in the Comatorium" album. If you've never heard of The Mars Volta, well, you should give them a listen. They are fucking brilliant! Omar Rodriguez-Lopez (the mastermind of The Mars Volta) is one of those rare musical geniuses who creates music that is so full of intelligence and depth that it's beyond the taste of the lazy listeners of today. Do yourself a favor and spend five minutes listening to this song and expand your musical horizons. If you already know and love The Mars Volta, god for you! You win absolutely nothing at all!!! If, however, you don't enjoy this song, please check your pulse as you may in fact be dead.
Friday, January 8, 2010
10001110101
Happy belated new year to all of you! I sincerely hope that all of you had a wonderful Christmas and a happy New Year (the "holiday season" as it is now commonly referred to as). Regardless of what one believes, one can't argue that Christmas is rooted in the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. We have holidays for everything else these days, so why is it that people are so bent on taking the "Christ" out of Christmas? I would venture to say that 90% of the shops i frequented this year said "happy holidays" instead of merry Christmas. Even when i said "Merry Christmas" to a shop clerk i got a "happy holidays" in return the majority of the time. I asked several clerks about this behavior and some told me it was against company policy to say "merry Christmas" in order to avoid offending people. Seriously? Well, i tell you what offends me is an over abundance of political correctness. Sorry, but the day is still called Christmas. I work with the public in my job and am employed by a public agency. On Christmas Eve (a day Obama declared a holiday for the purposes of letting government employees go home early) i was counseled by a supervisor at work for saying "Merry Christmas" to my "customers". (Sorry for the vagueness of my work and employment descriptions, but it's necessary to retain my anonymity. Those of you who know what i do for a living will know what i'm talking about.) So, let me get this straight. Christmas is not only the name of the day, but is a Federal holiday, and is so important to people that the day before it should be declared a federal holiday but i'm not allowed to say Merry Christmas to people for fear of offending someone? BULLSHIT. I defied a direct order from a "superior" and kept right on saying "Merry Christmas", even while the supe was sitting next to me busting my balls for saying it (my "customers" are not in the room with me if you haven't gather that little nugget of info yet). He threatened to write me up for insubordination and i just laughed and said "go ahead, see how far that goes". What the fuck is wrong with people?!? He must be so miserable that he feels the need to snuff out even the smallest ember of kindness and human decency in order to try and make everyone else feel just as shitty as he does. I mean, i had to work Christmas and so did my "customers". So why not do what i can to be friendly and pass on a little kindness to people as unlucky as me that they should have to work on Christmas? Bottom line, all of this political correctness and being afraid of offending people has gotten out of hand. I have nothing but respect for whatever one chooses to believe or practice. But for fuck sake, LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My new year resolution number one is to be as politically INCORRECT as possible in 2010. Something i've said has offended you? TOUGH SHIT. Fucking deal with it. Fuck.
:END RANT:
Anywho... 2009 was one hell of a year. A lot happened. I met a lot of great people here online and i am grateful to each of you for your help and support and for your help in getting me to where i am today. And where is that exactly? For starters, i am OUT. I am an openly gay man and i can be myself and not have to worry about people finding me out for the first time in almost 20 years since i figured out i was gay. All the people who matter most to me are completely, and 100% accepting and supportive of me and do not judge me because of my sexuality. In fact, i have yet to have one bad reaction in a coming out scenario, although i am still waiting for my first one (and rather looking forward to telling whoever it may be to kindly fuck off, i don't need you anyway). I still have a lot of healing to do in terms of reconciling my past and coming to terms with the shit i put myself through by staying in the closet for so long. But i am making progress. Its a long road ahead, but when i look at where i was a year ago to where i am now, i can't believe my eyes. Its like i am a different man. I feel happiness for the first time in ages. I still have days where i am down in the dumps and feeling pretty low (and i imaging those days will come around from time to time for the rest of my life). But they are far fewer than they were in the past and less extreme in nature and easier to pull out of.
Perhaps most amazing of all, i have a wonderful boyfriend who i am deeply in love with and who loves me just as much. "E" is an incredible man who loves me for me, good and bad (and i can be a real asshole sometimes, so he must really love me to put up with that lolz). I love him for the person inside of him, for who he really is as well. But, i guess i must have been a really good boy because not only is he a sweet, smart, loving, caring (he brought leftover Christmas dinner from his families dinner to my house for me after i got off work on Christmas), wonderful man, he is also quite the good looker! I know, looks aren't everything, but they sure can't hurt. :P He's tall and slender and pretty much everything i could ever want in a man. Yeah, i got REAL lucky! And without going into too much detail, lets just say that i'm the more masculine of the two of us, if you catch my drift. Suffice to say, the sex is amazing.
That's all well and good, but more important, we celebrated our two month anniversary a few days ago. An eternity when measuring the duration of most gay relationships (hell, hetero relationships these days for that matter). Sure some of the newness and glow has dissipated, but i love him more than ever and we spend quite a lot of time together (fyi, our little trip to the ocean was simply incredible). So, here's to another two months, leading to years and decades of happiness.
Lastly, remember that little fender bender i was in back in late August? Yeah, the one where the stupid cunting whore drove her fucking TANK of an SUV into the rear-end of my car at 40 mph? Well, after three and a half months of waiting, my replacement Audi S5 has finally arrived. I am picking it up after work tomorrow. It is still costing me money, as the insurance only paid for the value of my totaled car, not replacement value, but will be well worth it.
Sorry for not posting more frequently, but i have been pretty busy as of late. I am on MSN once in a while, but its usually really late, and no one else is on. So, one of these days i will have to get on and do some catching up with all of you.
Until next time...
:END RANT:
Anywho... 2009 was one hell of a year. A lot happened. I met a lot of great people here online and i am grateful to each of you for your help and support and for your help in getting me to where i am today. And where is that exactly? For starters, i am OUT. I am an openly gay man and i can be myself and not have to worry about people finding me out for the first time in almost 20 years since i figured out i was gay. All the people who matter most to me are completely, and 100% accepting and supportive of me and do not judge me because of my sexuality. In fact, i have yet to have one bad reaction in a coming out scenario, although i am still waiting for my first one (and rather looking forward to telling whoever it may be to kindly fuck off, i don't need you anyway). I still have a lot of healing to do in terms of reconciling my past and coming to terms with the shit i put myself through by staying in the closet for so long. But i am making progress. Its a long road ahead, but when i look at where i was a year ago to where i am now, i can't believe my eyes. Its like i am a different man. I feel happiness for the first time in ages. I still have days where i am down in the dumps and feeling pretty low (and i imaging those days will come around from time to time for the rest of my life). But they are far fewer than they were in the past and less extreme in nature and easier to pull out of.
Perhaps most amazing of all, i have a wonderful boyfriend who i am deeply in love with and who loves me just as much. "E" is an incredible man who loves me for me, good and bad (and i can be a real asshole sometimes, so he must really love me to put up with that lolz). I love him for the person inside of him, for who he really is as well. But, i guess i must have been a really good boy because not only is he a sweet, smart, loving, caring (he brought leftover Christmas dinner from his families dinner to my house for me after i got off work on Christmas), wonderful man, he is also quite the good looker! I know, looks aren't everything, but they sure can't hurt. :P He's tall and slender and pretty much everything i could ever want in a man. Yeah, i got REAL lucky! And without going into too much detail, lets just say that i'm the more masculine of the two of us, if you catch my drift. Suffice to say, the sex is amazing.
That's all well and good, but more important, we celebrated our two month anniversary a few days ago. An eternity when measuring the duration of most gay relationships (hell, hetero relationships these days for that matter). Sure some of the newness and glow has dissipated, but i love him more than ever and we spend quite a lot of time together (fyi, our little trip to the ocean was simply incredible). So, here's to another two months, leading to years and decades of happiness.
Lastly, remember that little fender bender i was in back in late August? Yeah, the one where the stupid cunting whore drove her fucking TANK of an SUV into the rear-end of my car at 40 mph? Well, after three and a half months of waiting, my replacement Audi S5 has finally arrived. I am picking it up after work tomorrow. It is still costing me money, as the insurance only paid for the value of my totaled car, not replacement value, but will be well worth it.
Sorry for not posting more frequently, but i have been pretty busy as of late. I am on MSN once in a while, but its usually really late, and no one else is on. So, one of these days i will have to get on and do some catching up with all of you.
Until next time...
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