Yes, a spoiled little bitch. I've become one of "those" people somehow. It's difficult to say how the transformation occurred or when, but it did. When i was really young, life was pretty good. My parents hadn't yet divorced, my dad owned a successful business, we lived in an upper-middle class neighborhood, etc. We didn't live extravagantly as my dad was (and still is for that matter) something of a tight wad. But we didn't want for anything either.
Then things went to Hell on a rocket powered sled. My parents got divorced, we were in a nasty car wreck that got blamed on my mother (who was NOT at fault) and moved from a big house to a tiny apartment, from nice car to shitty car to the fucking bus, and from eating delicious meals to instant noodles and mac and cheese. Nothing like being moments away from homelessness to bring a smile to ones face. My paper route money went to feeding my family and paying household bills at the age of 12. Add in the stresses of figuring out that i'm gay and having to keep that bottled up for a couple decades and it's no wonder i drifted into a depression that i never really got out of. Yes, i'm still suffering from depression and subjecting my poor, loving partner to a slice of Hell on earth now and then. Well, quite a bit actually. Why he hasn't left me i'll never know.
But i digress. My point is i am now a spoiled little shit despite all the crap i've been through in my life. I live in a nice house in a snotty, uptight suburban neighborhood (that i hate by the way, and can't wait to leave for an upper crust neighborhood in a historic district in the city), i have not one, but two German luxury cars, and take vacations to places like Maui on a whim. I'm not meaning to brag. Quite the opposite. I have become one of the assholes that i once loathed.
It's got to the point that i refuse to fly coach. I will only fly first class domestically, and at the very least business class on overseas international flights. Even for work. The cheap fuckers only provide for coach airfare. So, i actually pay out of pocket to upgrade to first class each and every flight i have to take for work. The free-flowing liquor and extra ball room in the seat are well worth it however.
I have a need to go and buy a new car. A better car than what i have already. One with more features and more power and more prestige and more look-at-me factor. And this is despite the fact that the car i have is not only in perfect working order (and still under lease for anther 18 months), but a very nice car that most people would love to have.
But you know what? I don't think i could live any other way. I love spending money and having the absolute best of everything. I'm headed to Cabo San Lucas in a few weeks, first class. And to Maui in a couple months, first class. Despite the fact i hate what i've become, i can't seem to live any other way.
Even though i want for nothing and have more than i need, i start to foam at the mouth when i hear about how my hard earned tax dollars are being spent on social programs. Sure, some people are genuinely unfortunate and need assistance to get back on their feet. But far too many abuse the system. Assistance designed to be temporary and help people who are less fortunate get back on their feet becomes a way of life and these lazy assholes suck the system, and my wallet, dry. What's mine is mine and if you want what i have, get off your lazy fucking ass and work for it.
Maybe it's because i had so little for so long and was so poor most of my life that i'm so possessive of what i work so hard for. Or maybe i'm just an asshole who no longer possesses any sense of compassion.
I have no idea how this post has (d)evolved to what it is. And maybe it doesn't matter. This probably makes me sound well prickish. But it's not that i don't care, i just don't give a fuck.
I think perhaps its time to refresh my beverage and have some dinner before i go to bed and rest for another brutal day at work tomorrow.
Goodnight, blogland.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
I don't begrudge you anything you've worked for. I don't travel much, but if I could afford business class on any but the shortest flights, I'd take it. Maybe the compulsion to get an essentially unneeded new car is unhealthy, but throwing your money away at least keeps it circulating, gives income to some people, and doesn't harm anybody else.
I must ask, however, if you can prove that "far too many abuse the system. Assistance designed to be temporary and help people who are less fortunate get back on their feet becomes a way of life and these lazy assholes suck the system, and my wallet, dry." Leaving aside the fact that, as you have so extensively illustrated, your wallet is far from being sucked dry, I wonder how you can be so sure of the attitude of recipients of public assistance. I'd suggest that there are lots of people who are working, but at jobs that pay so little that they can't afford to keep their homes. At least here in the Northeast, housing is ridiculously expensive, and many of our homeless have jobs. And then the paycheck mat not buy enough food for the family for a month. And then there are a lot of people whose mental illness or PTSD makes them unemployable.
I'm the same way. I went to a private high school, where my classmates' parents were lawyers, doctors, and C-level execs. My mom's a teacher, and my dad worked a blue-collar job. I resented the kids that got brand new cars when they turned sixteen. A quasi-friend actually asked me, rhetorically, how someone can live on less than $75,000 / year. *sigh*
I'm now one of those people.
I still get the school magazine, once per quarter. I flip through it, look for people I know, look for people I'm *still* competing with, and then shred it.
@naturgesetz: while i don't disagree that my wallet is far from empty, the insane amount of income, property, sales and other taxes i paid last year (and many years before it) certainly prevent my wallet from being as full as it should be. And when people who didn't work or worked very little can claim one credit after another and actually receive money back from the government in excess of what they paid in, i get a little upset. The tax system in this country is broken. It's that simple. i don't think it's reasonable or fair to tax my income at a higher rate than someone earning less than me simply because they don't earn as much. I am in full support of a tax system where every single person pays the exact same flat rate for their income tax and ALL credits, deductions and other loopholes go away completely.
There are far too many social programs in place that encourage laziness and dependence on the system. I know this because i am exposed to these type of people through friends and family who know them and i even know a few personally myself. The people who bring home more money on unemployment than they did working and therefore have no reason to seek gainful employment, the people who continue to have one illegitimate child after another in order to keep the government checks coming in, the people who collect housing subsidies, food stamps, and a welfare check because of a "disability" such as a bad back but seem to have more than enough money to support drug and alcohol habits, drive new cars and take a couple vacations each year. I have three herniated discs in my back and two in my neck with several discs being 75% or more degenerated and live in constant pain. i can't take prescription pain medication because of the nature of my job. If i can work, so can a lot of these other so-called disabled people. And lets not forget the poor unfortunates who got laid off from their job, and are now getting college educations on the taxpayers dime to be re-trained for some other career because they are too proud to take a job bagging groceries or flipping burgers or some other job that's "beneath them". All while continuing to get extension after extension on unemployment and collect housing and food subsidies. I worked full time in crap jobs to pay my way through college and keep myself housed, clothed and fed. If i can do it, anyone can. And their excuse is that there are no jobs. If there are no jobs then why is the want ads section of the paper fatter than ever? There are jobs galore, but Americans seem to think that cleaning a toilet or working in fast food is beneath them. Guess what? IT'S A JOB! IT PAYS MONEY. Money that is currently coming out of my pockets and the pockets of all the other schmucks who are stupid enough to continue going to work each day. The list goes on and on. And all of these and more are from direct observation.
The end result is that i feel like a complete fool for getting up early and going to my job and working hard. But i do it not only to have the nicer things in life, but to provide for myself and my loved ones future (yes, i have a mother that i help support and a brother who is one of the above listed who suckle the government teat). If i were able to save all the money thats stolen from me by our government and then wasted on people like the ones mentioned above, i'd be able to retire early and live very comfortably for a long time. But with the the housing market crash, the stock market doing about as well, inflation running wild and income remaining fairly stagnant, not to mention the questionable future of social security, i may never be able to retire. Sure, i could stop taking vacations and driving nice cars, but then why bother working? If i'm going to live like that, wouldn't i be better off taking my seat on the gravy train and just become another one of the many who rape the system and take, take, take?
@naturgesetz (continued): I understand your point 100%. There are people who work very hard indeed and still haven't the means to provide for themselves or their families. After my parents got divorced, that was what my family was like. My mom worked two jobs and still needed help from our church to keep myself and my two siblings fed and housed. And when i was old enough, i got a paper route. Not to buy fun things for myself and have a little folding money as a kid, it was to keep our little household above water and preventing us from living in a refrigerator box under the freeway. But even coming from that mess of a childhood, i managed to self motivate and work hard and earn every last thing i now have the hard way. I've never taken a hand out. And that's why i am so infuriated by the enormous number of people who stand around with their hands out, so to speak. Those who work hard and still struggle are one thing. But those who do nothing to help themselves disgust me.
Housing here in the Great Pacific Northwest is obscenely expensive, even for modest dwellings. Anything even resembling affordable housing is generally located in very dodgy parts of town and have drug, gang and crime problems. As you mentioned, many of our homeless are employed. And it angers me to see that. It makes me sick to think that people who are working hard are living on the street while people who sit and do nothing but smoke crack and cash their welfare checks are warm and cozy in their government subsidized apartment, however small and shabby it may be.
I'm all for temporary help for people who are willing to help themselves. There is a need for some programs to help people find jobs, stay warm and dry, keep fed and clothed. But people need to be willing to want to be able to be self sustaining at some point. The people who abuse these programs and make it their way of life are a disgrace. There needs to be accountability. The people who abuse need to be cut off and the funds redirected to those who are putting forth the effort to try and rebuild their lives. And if America is ever going to be a great country again, we need to take care of our own first. Foreign aid is swell, but how can we justify it when so many are going without right here?
My comment may actually have exceeded the length of my post. But this stuff fires me up. I'm not completely heartless. I know what it's life not knowing if and when your next meal will be, know what it's like to grow up poor and have less than nothing, to be mocked and outcast in school because of ones socioeconomic status. But i also know the value of hard work. I am very fortunate indeed and i'm thankful each and every day for all i have and i often reflect on how far i've come. But nothing was given to me. It was earned through hard work, long days and sleepless nights, blood, sweat, tears and some very significant emotional scarring. So this sense of entitlement that seems to be going around really galls me.
@Gauss Jordan: after my parents divorced, my dad lost his business and went back to being a blue-collar working Joe. Even after we went broke, we continued to live in the same school district as the rich kids, and from 4th grade through graduation, i was the poor kid. I don't get any school magazines, but i often wonder what became of the entitled little pricks i went to school with. I'm sure a few did quite well, but i'd like to think that the majority of them sank to the bottom after they lost the financial backing of their parents and are now the objects of ridicule that they made me.
Post a Comment