Bleh...i'm sick. On my hols no less. I started feeling a bit crap on sunday, and had been overloading on vitamin c and taking Zicam to try and stem the evil tide. But alas, my bodies defenses broke down sometime last night and i woke up feeling horrible. I've got the whole stuffy head, sore throat, headache, sniffles, sneezing, coughing, thing going for me right now. At least it looks like it's just a head cold and not the flu in any of its various and nasty varieties. The absolute worst part of getting sick is that i don't have a loving, caring, cute boy to take care of me while i'm under the weather. Woe is me.
So, i reckon that takes care of what to do while i'm on hols! Stay home and recover. It has given me the opportunity to knock down that giant pile of unwatched DVD's that been accumulating for a while, at least a little bit. I have this bad habit of seeing a DVD at the store (usually Best Buy or Costco) and thinking to myself "that looks good, might as well pick it up". Never mind that there are at least a hundred others just like it sitting on my shelves at home, unwatched, and in some cases unopened. Today i got through Beowulf, Slumdog Millionaire, and Eragon. Beowulf was entertaining, but i thought the computer enhanced life action got a bit tiring. Maybe it's just me in my semi-fevered state getting nit picky. Computer generated graphics are cool, and i absolutely love Anime. But to take live action and try and make it look animated makes no sense to me. It was very artistic and well done, but still...and i'm rambling. Slumdog Millionaire was a brilliant film. This was the first time i'd seen it. Incredible story, great cinematography, well produced. I really enjoyed that movie. Probably one of the best movies i've seen i a while. Eragon was pretty good too. The use of CG made to look real was pretty good. And the guy who plays Eragon (to lazy to look up his name atm) is deffo very cute. Yes, even in my sickened state, my pervy eyes know no rest. Hey, what else have i got to think about?
While i'm home sick, i think i'lll try and watch some of the anime i have bought and never watched. I have at least a dozen full series on DVD that need to be watched. Stuff like "Ergo Proxy", "E'S Otherwise", "Gantz", "Basilisk", "Samurai 7", "JYU-OH-SEI", "Mushi-Shi", and more. I got hooked on anime by watching the stuff played on Adult Swim such as "Neon Genesis Evangelion", "Cowboy Be-bop", "Deathnote", etc. All of them have some really interesting story lines and incredible animation. I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff. Anyway, i do the same thing with anime as i do with movies. I go to the store, browse the selection and buy what looks interesting. I'm waiting for the day that i buy a duplicate series and don't realize it until i've opened the package and go to file it away. No returns on opened merchandise!
Well, sorry for the boring post. I'm bored and lonely, so you all get to suffer my random thoughts and such. Have i mentioned that i'm bored and lonely?
Maybe some music will cheer me up. I have been listening to a lot of stuff in the electronic/dance genre lately. Sirius channel 38 "Area" has been playing in my car for ages now. By far, my favorite DJ to date is Tiesto. It's hard to really get a feel for how good he really is without sitting down and listening to one of his albums from start to finish. They flow like nothing else i have listened to in a long time and begin to take on a life of their own. They start slow and work up to a climax and then slowly let you back down again before finishing strong. Each listen is an adventure that covers a whole range of feelings and emotions and experiences. This track is from his "In Search of Sunrise 7: Asia" album. Wounded Soul...
Showing posts with label tiesto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tiesto. Show all posts
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Out of control.
First off, huge apologies to everyone. I have been pretty busy as of late, and haven't been keeping up with the blogs as much as i should. I try to read them when i can, but haven't been commenting lately... So, i hope i haven't pissed anyone off.
Anyway, shit has spiraled out of control over here in my little corner of the world. I received a text from Adam last friday telling me that he had just received a text from another co-worker asking him if he knew i was gay. What the fuck?! Someone outed me! So, back up one more step to last Thursday when i came out to another of my co-workers (another lesbian). She and some of the (straight) guys i work with are friends. Apparently, she got a little loose lipped after drinking too much and started blabbing about me to everyone who was present. I still don't have a full picture of how out of control things are, but it is definitely no longer contained and in my hands. So, as a damage control measure, i came out to some more of the people i am closest to at work so they could hear it from me and not the rumor mill. At least half a dozen others are asking questions and so on. Jesus...it's like i'm in fucking junior high again with all the whispering and rumors.
Fuck. So much for doing this my way and in my own time. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but fuck... The upside is that of those i have told personally, most were a bit shocked but otherwise very accepting and supportive. So, if i wasn't before, i reckon i am officially out. At this point, i really don't give a shit who knows or not. I do have mixed emotions about the talk behind my back. On the one hand, i can see that maybe they are just respecting my privacy (or more than likely wanting to save their asses from some discrimination action). But really, if they want to know, why beat around the bush? Just fucking ask me.
In other news, i bought a bunch of new clothes while i was on holiday. Picked up a bunch of shirts and pants from Express (using my brothers employee discount...saved heaps of moneys). I gotta say, i look pretty fuckin sharp. lol. Had some blonde highlights put in my hair, so that's looking even gayer than before as well. :p Overall, i have lost about 60 pounds since i started my weight loss crusade. If i could lose another 50 or 60 pounds, i'd be on target.
I went to Milwaukee's pride fest with my brother while i was on hols. Quite a bit of fun, and eye candy galore! But, it did nothing to convince me that i'm not too old for this shit. Most of the guys i saw were in their early to mid twenties. OK, i admit those are the guys i am most attracted to. But something tells me that they aren't as into me as i am them. I feel way too old to be trying to play catch up and have some fun and eventually get into a stable, long term relationship. Oh yeah, i turned 33 last week. I'm now in my mid 30's. Yeah, i'm deffo the old man trying to play a young mans game.
I'm still having no luck trying to talk to CPB. Every time i go in, he is either not there or is busy doing some other work and i don't get seated at his table. I've now asked for his section twice, and have twice been told he isn't serving or whatever. So, i think i may have crossed into creepy stalker territory. lol. In any event, i'm getting well frustrated with the whole situation. Either fate is conspiring against me or it's saving me from some mass humiliation. So, two different outlooks on that whole thing. One, persistence pays off. Keep going in and eventually the odds will fall to my favor and i will get to talk to him, and maybe even get a date (leading to a relationship if i'm a really good boy). Two, i am obsessed with him and should just forget about him and move on. If it were meant to happen, it would have...nothing should take that much effort. The problem with that is, move on where? I still have no leads or connections or prospects for meeting new people. And you can see how well trying to meet people in normal everyday circumstances is working out. lol. I know, i've done a lot in the past few months and shouldn't rush things. But time is running out, folks. I ain't getting any younger or prettier.
So, thanks to everyone for your thoughts, comments and emails. It really means a lot to me. I owe each and every one of you my gratitude. I don't think i'd be where i am if not for your help, advice, support, and friendship. You have witnessed something extraordinary...my transformation from a boring, single, lonely and closeted gay man to a boring, single, lonely and OUT gay man. LOL! WTF...
BTW...the new Dredg album "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is absolutely fucking brilliant. I have been alternating between listening to that and Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise, Vol. 7: Asia", also fucking brilliant. Yeah, my neighbors hate me coz i've been playing that stuff at top volume at like 3 am... But fuck them anyway... Bwahahahaha!!!!!
Anyway, shit has spiraled out of control over here in my little corner of the world. I received a text from Adam last friday telling me that he had just received a text from another co-worker asking him if he knew i was gay. What the fuck?! Someone outed me! So, back up one more step to last Thursday when i came out to another of my co-workers (another lesbian). She and some of the (straight) guys i work with are friends. Apparently, she got a little loose lipped after drinking too much and started blabbing about me to everyone who was present. I still don't have a full picture of how out of control things are, but it is definitely no longer contained and in my hands. So, as a damage control measure, i came out to some more of the people i am closest to at work so they could hear it from me and not the rumor mill. At least half a dozen others are asking questions and so on. Jesus...it's like i'm in fucking junior high again with all the whispering and rumors.
Fuck. So much for doing this my way and in my own time. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but fuck... The upside is that of those i have told personally, most were a bit shocked but otherwise very accepting and supportive. So, if i wasn't before, i reckon i am officially out. At this point, i really don't give a shit who knows or not. I do have mixed emotions about the talk behind my back. On the one hand, i can see that maybe they are just respecting my privacy (or more than likely wanting to save their asses from some discrimination action). But really, if they want to know, why beat around the bush? Just fucking ask me.
In other news, i bought a bunch of new clothes while i was on holiday. Picked up a bunch of shirts and pants from Express (using my brothers employee discount...saved heaps of moneys). I gotta say, i look pretty fuckin sharp. lol. Had some blonde highlights put in my hair, so that's looking even gayer than before as well. :p Overall, i have lost about 60 pounds since i started my weight loss crusade. If i could lose another 50 or 60 pounds, i'd be on target.
I went to Milwaukee's pride fest with my brother while i was on hols. Quite a bit of fun, and eye candy galore! But, it did nothing to convince me that i'm not too old for this shit. Most of the guys i saw were in their early to mid twenties. OK, i admit those are the guys i am most attracted to. But something tells me that they aren't as into me as i am them. I feel way too old to be trying to play catch up and have some fun and eventually get into a stable, long term relationship. Oh yeah, i turned 33 last week. I'm now in my mid 30's. Yeah, i'm deffo the old man trying to play a young mans game.
I'm still having no luck trying to talk to CPB. Every time i go in, he is either not there or is busy doing some other work and i don't get seated at his table. I've now asked for his section twice, and have twice been told he isn't serving or whatever. So, i think i may have crossed into creepy stalker territory. lol. In any event, i'm getting well frustrated with the whole situation. Either fate is conspiring against me or it's saving me from some mass humiliation. So, two different outlooks on that whole thing. One, persistence pays off. Keep going in and eventually the odds will fall to my favor and i will get to talk to him, and maybe even get a date (leading to a relationship if i'm a really good boy). Two, i am obsessed with him and should just forget about him and move on. If it were meant to happen, it would have...nothing should take that much effort. The problem with that is, move on where? I still have no leads or connections or prospects for meeting new people. And you can see how well trying to meet people in normal everyday circumstances is working out. lol. I know, i've done a lot in the past few months and shouldn't rush things. But time is running out, folks. I ain't getting any younger or prettier.
So, thanks to everyone for your thoughts, comments and emails. It really means a lot to me. I owe each and every one of you my gratitude. I don't think i'd be where i am if not for your help, advice, support, and friendship. You have witnessed something extraordinary...my transformation from a boring, single, lonely and closeted gay man to a boring, single, lonely and OUT gay man. LOL! WTF...
BTW...the new Dredg album "The Pariah, the Parrot, the Delusion" is absolutely fucking brilliant. I have been alternating between listening to that and Tiësto's "In Search of Sunrise, Vol. 7: Asia", also fucking brilliant. Yeah, my neighbors hate me coz i've been playing that stuff at top volume at like 3 am... But fuck them anyway... Bwahahahaha!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
