Well, where to begin...

Hello. I guess the best place to start is to give you all a little bit of background about me. I am 32, gay, and still in the closet. I have known that I was different from a very young age (I had my first crush on a boy in first grade). I had no idea how to interpret those feelings at such a young age, and had no concept of homosexuality. Over time I began to learn about being gay, or bi-sexual and figured it out. For the longest time I tried to convince myself that I was bi-sexual, and that there was still some hope for me to get married, have some kids, and live a 'normal' life.

By the time I was 19 or 20, I finally realized that I am in fact gay. My family are a mixture of very religious and conservative. They either view being gay as a sin, a sickness, choice, or any combination thereof. How can I tell them who I really am? So, I go on day by day pretending to be someone I'm not.

Well, not any more. I can no longer handle the stress of having to conceal my true self and the resulting bouts of depression and self loathing. From this point forward, I am going to be myself.

That's not to say that I don't have a long way to go. My family will no doubt be the last to know, as I stand to lose the most by telling them. My current 'friends', well if they can't accept me for who I am, then to hell with them. I am making new friends, both here, on the internet, and in my real life. I have met some really amazing people who have helped and encouraged me to move forward with my life. People like Mirrorboy, Steevo, James, Steve and Mr. HCI.

I hope to one day be able to help others, as I have been helped and pay it forward so to speak. Well, that should do for a first post. Thanks for reading, and I hope to make many more new friends here.